The I that I have been is no more

The I that I have been is no more and shall never return.  

The I that I have been is waiting in the wings to submerge to where she needs to go.

The I that I have been is going,  going,  going,  going,  and now gone.

The I that I have been is not needed any more.

The I that I have been is gone and troubled no more.

She is gone.

Empty I might feel but not is what I do.

For now I realize that she is gone and never was needed.

I do not feel sadness or loss.

I do not feel any morning for her since now I know she never was a part of the true me.  She may have been a figment of my mind,  I do not know.  What I do know is that now I am me again.  

I am the me that I always knew I was and am.  I am the me that will always be.

I am the me that is.

Knowing

She sits,  she waits.

Knowing.

Tears fall because of what she knows.

Tears fall because of what she sees.

Tears fall because of what she feels helpless to change.  Knowing that what she sees is not her responsibility or will but always left out of her control,  up to others.  This ashames one that wishes more upon troubled thoughts.  This leaves empty that which no one else can fill yet which all of humanity must try.

Knowing,

knowing that a heart breaks at the will of others

knowing that it is time to let go

knowing that ultimately one can not 

knowing that this is what kills the soul

knowing that it is time to be buried,  for such knowledge is always left out alone in the cold to die

alone knowing

knowing complete sadness

knowing complete loneliness 

how can one breath this last breath with this wisdom set forth with eyes opened too wide,  left out to die

knowing

One wishes not to

Beauty knows,  dares not to tell so others will learn which is only learned from

knowing

Kris Haas

January 29th,  1994

OPEN STUDIO ART PARTY !!!

I had a open studio art party on the 30th of July.  Here is what the invitation that went out to over a 100 people said,  and this is the image that went out with it:

COME SEE KRIS HAAS' ART STUDIO SHOWCASING NEW AND OLD WORKS OF ART.

Come join us for an open studio party to celebrate art,  summer and friends.  Refreshments and snacks will be provided.  There will be an art sale of Kris Haas' work,  so bring your friends and your checkbooks and lets have a party!

No need to R.S.V.P.  If you do have questions or comments please feel free to contact us.

Artist,  Kris Haas,  503.285.0667 or Creative Manager,  Allison Kramer,  503.867.1713.

PLEASE VIEW KRIS' WEBSITE FOR A PREVIEW OF HER WORK..............

www.krishaas.com..............

We hope to see you then!

Let just say that it felt like a coming out party for me.  Coming out as a person completely devoted to her work.  You should see my house.  I don't own a couch anymore since my living room is part of the gallery.  My house is as you would imagine someone having an art gallery in her own house.  

Also a coming out party as in coming out of a darker period in my life and now celebrating life.

There were far more people there then I thought would come which made me happy and proud and I sold more then I thought I would which again makes me happy and proud.

There were also about 6 of us that stayed hanging out till 1:00am on my newly installed slate patio (which was another of my creations that I actually placed all the pieces myself and did quite well physically with it considering some of the pieces of slate were well over a 100 pounds each) and having many of my friends there enjoying the celebration makes me feel as a sign of more to come.  I had never had that many people in my home before and it was a very satisfying feeling to see how everyone felt comfortable enough and thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

I think I shall like to have another soon.

So much art to create from many experiences so little time

So many things I want to experience that I hope I live to be 110 years old.  

1) I want to do 365 Paintings/365 Days.

2) I want to do this pre-stretched canvas sculpture that I have a drawing for and I have had in my head for at least 7 years.  I just need a tall enough ceiling that can handle the 20' height of it.

3) I want to do more colored pencil paintings.

4) I want to write a screenplay.  (ok,  technically it is in the process,  how about I want to finish the screenplay and see it turned in to the movie I know it can be in my head.)

5) I want to do an installation piece that came about when I was doing my "Into The Interior" series,  where if you could imagine yourself being a little tiny bug inside blades of grass and feel the awesomeness of the birthing of spring that it completely makes the feeling of time stopping and every moment from then on feels like it is an eternal beautiful moment one after the other.

6) I know I should put in that I want to do my "Crucifixion of the Feminine" exhibit but I don't have to want that since I know it is happening.

7) I want to experience painting the feelings of love.

8) I want to paint huge abstract large scale paintings in my soon to be new studio (the one in my head) that will bring tears of joy and beauty to people's eyes.

9) I want to make a peach pie.  I know that sounds silly but my neighbor was over to use my oven and he had a blackberrie and pear vegan cobbler he needed to bake since there oven was not working.

10) I want and am becoming the greatest artist I know how to be by being a never ending conduit for the expression of creativity.