Meet a very good friend of mine

I would like to introduce to you a very good friend of mine that I have known for over 15 years. His name is Dave. We have had many, many adventures together in exploring and experiencing who we are as human beings as well as artist.

I recently asked if he might like to contribute something to my blog and I believe his response was:

Your blog is really fun! I would LOVE to contribute something, but I'd want to write something new...I always get horny this time of year, too, and I always always get horny when I even think of you, my goddess of eros.

Here is a drawing I did of him a few years ago (rather handsome isn't he) along with a colored pencil painting about an experience I had with him. The title of the colored pencil painting is called "Lover's First Kiss." As someone said to me once "that must have been some kiss."

Into The Mind of An Artist

I feel as if at times more so recently that I have become a bit of a poet. I am understanding the heightened sense by the imaginative treatment of experience with a condensed use of language that is more vivid and intense than ordinary prose. I see it in what I read for research for my exhibit I am putting together.


This I did late last night:

This thick book drew me to itself a few minutes ago. I do not know why as of yet. Write I must but about what yet I do not know.
I am in the corner of my bedroom. Picasso is to my left, Satine to my right, Sebastian to my SW.

A poem.

I sit here waiting for the words.
The words sit waiting for me.
They are them, I am me.
We wait. We both wait together. The spark of the momentarily release is what we wait for.
The words and I are the same at times. We both wait for that same recognition that the Other - we at times envy - comes to us at our side. We wait for the Other.
The Other knows this. The Other knows that we know of it's existence and laughs while being troubled towards us.
The Other is troubled because the other knows it is flawed and is confused because the Words & I want so desperately what the Other has but does not have since the Other seeks with the same envy what we do.
We all wait for the Self.


I sit here calmly and almost motionless. Enjoying pen to paper with little else determination other then to plainly sit and write.
Maybe, at times it is the simple and extravagant act of putting pen to paper, seeing black lines (that any other society would see as symbols on cloth) that convey the simplest of meanings and the most complex of ideas, black lines on white paper. So simple since this act took millions of years of evolution to become fully realized.
I grow tired now.
Goodnight.

MIGRAINES HOW I HATE THEM!!!

I have come to experience over the past several years to look at any situation, no matter how horrible it might be and to find something useful that I can use in order to change it to a more positive view. With my migraines I am still struggling with that.

I told someone earlier this week after my migraine on Sunday that it is a good excuse to take your medication have a good bottle of wine and watch a movie that doesn't have too much flash or visual effects in it while it is at a lower volume. But this doesn't really work when you are on the second day of the second migraine for the week and it is 10:00 o'clock in the morning.

So now any other advice I can try to give myself at this time I am still contemplating. I know its out there. Where to look? Anyone who happens on this and has any advice for a more positive outlook when the migraines get to the point that you think they will never go away and the nausea is nauseating, please let me know.

I am frustrated right now with having to live my life around if I will have migraines & seizures or not, and I don't have the freedom to live my life like I did before. I have had four years of this since the accident and now just thinking about this I become sad. I will try this again. It has been four years since the accident changed my life (still crying and sad) and I have healed greatly but still have many limitations.

I can never go out in the sun without a hat low on my forehead blocking most of the light from my eyes so I will not have seizures and all the other symptoms.

I can not go to one of my artist receptions without carefully planning not to go anywhere the next day. Every time I have gone out and about on errands or just gone out, I get a migraine that last a couple of days.

Every time I go in to a building that has air conditioning or heating systems I have to be careful how long I am in there since I will eventually have seizure which can easily lead to migraines.

I can't sit in the audience watching a play since once the applause happens I have seizures.

I have to limit my time in any stimulating environment since I am exposed to seizures too quickly.

Too much cognitive thinking causes seizures and migraines for me.

The list can go on and on.

I did just remember one good thing. Since I can't be out in the sun without exposing my eyes to light I won't get all those nasty wrinkles. Silly I know and probably a boring thing to read about on an artist blog but you wouldn't think it was so boring if it happened to you.

Imagine you are in so much pain and fatigue when you are walking home from the bus stop you are not even sure if you will make it home because you think you might pass out on the street. Imagine you are in so much pain from a migraine that you pass out from it and when you wake up a couple of hours later all you remember is blackness, just blackness and you have never had that experience before. Imagine you are at your own artist reception and a ambulance goes by and the sound of it creates instant seizures and you have to find a quite, dark place for the next 30 minutes, forget talking to anyone who wants to by a piece of your work, it won't happen because your seizures get worse and worse. Imagine it is a stunningly beautiful sunny day out and people are enjoying themselves being outside in the sunshine, forget it not you. Imagine you used to have such a great memory and now at times depending on the situation if I am overstimulated or if I know the environment or not, I walk in to the bathroom at my then day job for one reason only, to use the bathroom, and when I walk in there I forget where I am and why I am there and I become very confused as to what is going on. Imagine you are out for a walk (all these memory problems some people would tell me that would happen to them at times and I would tell them that it never happened to me and I was always so proud of my memory) and all of a sudden look around and not know how I got there or where I was. I had to learn not to panic and just keep walking until I found a familiar place. This would happen even when I later would remember that it was a place I had walked to numerous times before.

Many, many more experiences I have had like these since my accident. I get sad at times. To not even want to go out side of your own home after a migraine for fear of getting one again. I don't want to cry anymore about this and yet it is still there. Sometimes if I have been symptom free (almost) for a couple of days I almost convince myself that it was a nightmare. But something always ends up reminding me that it is my reality, my life. I choose not to dwell on the limitations but this week was a difficult one, an almost continuous migraine.

But every moment I choose to move forward and find a way around my limitations. I am more of thriver then a survivor and I always eventually find a way to make something positive of the situation. Letting go by blogging about it is one way. Painting is another way. And for those things I found I can do well despite my limitations I am grateful for.

Minimalist Pattern paintings

I just wanted to see what this piece would look like on here. Soon I will be having my website updated and new links from here to there and back again.

Hip hip hooray!

There Is A Baby In My Belly........

This passage is from one of my many journals (and I do mean many ) that I had written last June when I was going through the coming realization of the "Crucifixion" exhibit and how bringing that to fruition was going to have a breaking down of some of my personal barriers. To actually see these words now in front of me on my screen verses in my books has a rather numbing effect. Something I did not expect and something I must do. Writing in blogs can seem bland, books are easier because no one may ever read them until you are gone. Writing before you brings tears to my eyes because it is so much more immediate and raw in a format that could reach millions of people. You don't think about these things when you are writing on paper in a book, numb am I now.......... So exposed.


There is a baby in my belly. The baby is me being reborn. The birth of a new creation is unique and unwise. Unwise only to patriarchs that can see this as a threat to a new and different life. For fear reigns in there bellies constantly creating constant new fear. Fear is unwise and necessary only to the point of remembrance. Remembrance of unique fear can only remind us of what is possible.
Love and acceptance.




FYI- This passage came about when I started to realize the importance my "Crucifixion" exhibit will have and the fear inside me came out to a strength I am glad to know I have. I cry now.

Quote by Agnes DeMille to Martha Graham-

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is; nor how valuable it is; nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate YOU. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction; a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.



Do I hear an AMEN!

Doernbecher-Claudia Swanson Chapter

I donated a piece of one of my recent paintings from the series 30 Paintings in 30 Days, #2.

This is the third year I have done this and the feeling of donating one of my paintings in order to make money for a charity just gets better and better. Below is is the little insert that went along with the piece. The piece is above.



This is the third year that I have been invited to donate one of my original oil paintings to the Friends of Doernbecher, Claudia Swanson Chapter and with a great amount of pleasure I have tried to pick out the right piece again in hopes that it will raise as much money as possible. As an artist I always try to be fresh and original with my work with much the same eye and awe of a child's. As children have a whole world of possibilities before them so to do I when I approach a blank canvas. You have before you an endless world of possibilities. When sickness or ailment occurs a child might end up seeing the world before them differently. More challenging or limited. I hope that whatever change this piece of art will be a beautiful and positive experience on them for the rest of there lives. Much like the awe that special little creatures we call children have on our own lives.


Kris Haas
March "08

30 Paintings in 30 Days

30 Paintings in 30 Days. Yep thats what I did for most of the month of January. It was actually 31 days but I was told that it still counts considering I had three partially finished paintings in the series that did not quite make it since they needed more time or something like that and I had a bad migraine that stopped me for two days. Excuses, excuses. Poor as they are I still feel proud of my achievement. These were not small paintings either. Many were 20"x16", at least 4 were 24"x48" and many in-between.

I did not set out to do this. Here is how it happened.

I blame this on my cat named Jackson as in Jackson Pollock. I have many animals named after artist- A Picasso, Michelangelo (I call him Angelo), and Leonardo Da Vinci, otherwise known as Leo. Last summer when I temporarily was very low on funds for medium for my paints and had not painted for what seemed like an eternity but was maybe a couple of weeks, Jackson came to me at my desk while I was in front of my computer and did his cute little brutish boyish thing he does with his paws stance in front of him while he is sitting and does a louder then normal MEOW. That definitely caught my attention because he was more insistent then ever. I remember looking at him and thinking-"Jackson, Jackson Pollock, Jackson Pollock house paint, I have a lot of house paint I could use in place of the medium." Lets just say that the way in which my persistent cat plus the combination of what came after was too imperative to ignore. So of course I go to my studio and start to work on a painting already in progress and proceed to use the house paint I had been using more as stands for larger pieces to stand on then for anything else. I started becoming the chemist. Mixing oil paint with house paint along with some other miscellaneous mediums that I still had a little of. I used this technique on one of the paintings that will be part of the "Crucifixion" series and 4 new pieces.

About six months later with the cash flowing again but different circumstances as to being stalled again working in my studio, this time it was a heat and not drying quickly enough. I was growing a little frustrated because I so wanted to work but was not able to with the original technique I was back to doing since I had more of my regular medium to use again. Just imagine the same scenario with Jackson doing the same thing he did six months earlier with almost the exact same amount of intensity and voila, I have 30 paintings 30 days later.

The medium changed. I used much less oil paint on these paintings so they were able to dry considerable faster. By my third painting on the second day I decided to see if I could produce 30 paintings in 30 days. I had read in the fall on craigslist in the artist section about someone putting together an exhibit of artist who where willing to collaborate in doing the 30 paintings thing. I believe though the sizes were limited to 8"x8" (??). Because I like to challenge myself and since I know I am much more limited in areas where I was able to challenge myself before because of my head injury I felt excited about this challenge since I felt as if I could go through with it. Having only one migraine was acceptable since before when I worked in the environment that I did for a few years for income I would get anywhere from 2-4 a month.

It was also an interesting experience in the way of challenging yourself with the art you create to be extremely consistent with the constancy of producing everyday. If I was not able to create a piece on any given day then I knew I would have to make up for it. I find that knowing my work habits and limitations due to my injury really requires a sense of completely being in tune with yourself. In some ways it reminds me of when I would do bodybuilding competitions and I always had to be and keep aware of everything going on with every part of my body.

I also seemed to be less the critic of myself and my work since it was not about how good or bad the work might have been, it was more about producing and still retaining originality in the work. I feel I completed this undertaking with the utmost care and love with my work.

I am so happy and proud and excited that I could push myself artistically this way and have new work to show for it.

Above are a few samples from this series:

Art Walks????????

I did an art walk this weekend in the SE area of my town. I was not sure what to expect since I had never done one before. I had received an email form one of the partners of the boutique that participates in the art walk, about a month ago and decided to go for it. Two days after the weekend and I still feel mentally drained. I have not had the experience since my injury four years ago, to challenge myself in this way, and I am grateful for the opportunity but I don't believe I will do it again.

I got some exposure, which is great, sold a couple of pieces, which is great, but that is not the direction I want to go with my work. The other person exhibiting with me does a lot of these types of venues for selling his work since he does not want to do the gallery thing because he does not think it is fair they take 50% of sales. I always look at it as I tell them my price and then they add 50% not the other way around.

What seems a little puzzling (not really, maybe more stupid then puzzling on the lack of insight this person has) that the difference between an art walk, where you are there for the weekend say a total of 10 plus hours, you sell one piece, (that is what this person sold) the boutique takes 30%, there was no advertising, no mailers to send out to potential clients, no reputation of what a gallery can bring, no refreshments (snacks and wine or beer) and definitely not the same traffic a reputable gallery can bring. Any (even partially ) decent gallery that has been around for at least five years (same amount as the above mentioned boutique) will not only have the clientele that would purchase your work, for far more then you could possibly sell it on the side walk but that you do not have to invest nearly the amount of time to put everything together as you would with an art walk setting.

I do not want to pursue this venue since I am going much larger with my work as far as the direction it will take me. While I do appreciate the experience of what I went through it is not me.

Above is one of my recent paintings that I showed at the art walk.

AS IS # 21